Dating Tips For The Shrinking Violet
Dating is not easy for everyone, especially for shy people. Shyness and social anxiety may be a disadvantage for people who will like to start dating but have problems approaching people. But with the right motivation and guidance, there is no reason why shy people cannot go on dates.
Start with a positive attitude.
More often than not, shy people have a difficult time with the idea of dating simply because of their own negativity. It is common among shy people to think that about dating as a hurdle or an obstacle. They feel that everything will go wrong when they date. The best way to enter the dating arena is for shy people to approach it with a more positive attitude. One way to do this is to view dating as an adventure. You will have better chances of moving on your way if you really find the eagerness to do it. Try to banish those negative feelings for awhile and build up the excitement of your dating adventure.
Look for like-minded people or someone who share your interests.
Now that you have built up the right attitude towards dating, the next thing is for you to find an ideal date. People with social anxiety will cringe at the thought of meeting other people. But there is a way to reduce this fear. Start with looking for people with similar interests as you. You may be an anime fan or someone who likes to talk about computers. Try to find someone who share the same interest by joining a club or a group. You may be able to find and meet someone of the opposite sex that you surely can comfortably talk to based by your similar interests. That way, you will no longer be anxious about what your conversation will be.
Another way to find an ideal date if you are shy is to start looking for like-minded people. Yes, there might be someone out there who is also shy and yet looking for a date. There might be some challenges trying to find them since they usually blend into the woodwork, so to speak. That is where your “expertise” on the subject of shyness will come to work. But once you do find someone with similar traits to go on a date with, you might find it easier to relate with each other, considering that you have similar experiences about shyness.
Prepare well for your date.
If it is your first time to go on a date, it helps to prepare. You need to take stock of what you will need and plan the date. Try to find a suitable location or find out if your potential date can suggest one. If you have found a suitable place, you can try to scout it out to know what to expect. Also try to find out how much you will be spending for the date. Include your estimated expenses on food (check the price list at the dating venue), tickets as well as for the transportation.
In addition, try to come up with a plan B in case your first plan does not succeed. You may arrive at your dinner date to find out that the restaurant is closed or that the tickets you plan to buy are already sold out. This will come in handy and prevent the date from becoming awkward and with both of you getting anxious.
Be relaxed.
Once you have planned out everything you can for the date, be more relaxed and try to enjoy the event. Remember that it is an adventure that you wish to experience, not an obstacle you need to get over with.
Practice makes perfect.
You have done everything you thought was right and yet the first dating experience did not go too well. Do not be too hard on yourself over it. Just take in the dating experience for what it’s worth and try again. You now at least get to experience dating first hand and have learned some valuable lessons from it. The more you go into dating, the better you will be at it. Just try to learn from the experiences and make that next date better. Pretty soon, you will not be a regular in the dating scene and now the ins and outs. Then, it won’t be too bad for someone who’s considered a shy one.
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