Rules on Breaking Up
Breakups are not pleasant, both for the “dumper” and the “dumpee.” But there are ways to make severing romantic relationships successful, in a way that both parties go through the process without bruised egos.
According to columnist Mish Way, breakups are just that: an ego bruise. Whether the breakup took you by surprise or that you have an inkling the relationship is about to end and she was the first one to call it quits, the process hits you hard. However, it is not really about heartbreaks, but the feeling that you were rejected. Way provides these bits of wisdom for everyone undergoing breakups.
There is no good time to break up with someone – You hear how people who just got dumped say that it happened on a significant day, like New Year’s Eve or days before their dog’s birthday. But let’s get real, breakups have no perfect timing. You need to toughen up because you are not the only one whose relationship failed. As for the dumpers, have a heart to get out of the relationship. “When you know you want out, you should just buck up and do it,” Way wrote. She added that breaking up a bad relationship is better than sticking up for it out of pity, fear, or laziness. Also, breaking up through text, email, or Facebook is never acceptable.
Spend some time off post-breakup – Breakups become more relieving of sorts if the two of you stop communicating at each other. As Way puts it, “it can save your life.” Dumpers should avoid texting, calling, emailing, Facebooking, Instagramming, tweeting, or whatever with the person you broke up with for at least half the time you were together. The exception is when the dumpee says it is OK to communicate, but even then, you have to proceed with caution. As for the dumpees, you can hide people from your Facebook feed without having to unfriend them. Also, tell the dumper that you cannot speak to her until you feel OK, which is fine because your former other half probably does not want to talk to you for a while either. However, if the two of you run into each other in public, have the courtesy to say hello and move along.
Don’t ask questions if you don’t want to know the answers – Do not ask who your ex is sleeping with or what are the factors of your breakup. Ignorance is bliss, as they say.
Never sleep with your ex – Sleeping with the dumpee will not end well. Exes will want more than just sex, like trying to get you back even if they know you shouldn’t be together. And if you were dumped, sleep with your ex and you end up losing. Practice restraint.
Focus on yourself – Whether you dumped or got dumped, it is time to focus on yourself and what you want. Breakups can be liberating because after all, it is not the end of the world. There will always be another relationship, another great love, and another bitter ending. Such is life.
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